By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD

You may have heard the adage “cheating is a symptom of relationship problems, not the cause of it”.  With notable exceptions for certain pathologies, this statement is generally accurate.

So, the time to protect your relationship from an affair is long before your partner feels the need to seek attention or support outside your relationship.

Current research shows that between 20 and 26 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 19 percent of married women cheat.  These numbers have remained consistent over the last twenty years.

The difference now is that relationship partners have a lower tolerance for cheating because attitudes about marriage have changed.  As more women earned higher education and entered the workforce, married couples began looking for their spouse to be their best friend, confidante, parenting partner, homemaking partner, wage-earning partner, AND an amazing lover.

This is a lot to ask of one person. Even strong marriage partnerships can cascade downward to a betrayal if the couple is not vigilant about turning toward each other in response to daily bids for connection and, especially, when repairing their relationship after regrettable incidents.

Couples who successfully protect their relationship from an affair understand how to bolster trust to prevent a betrayal.  Trust is built on a solid, reciprocal foundation of predictability, dependability, and faith – the three building blocks of trust.  When trust is fully present in a relationship, partners perceive that they will behave in a consistently positive manner toward each other, that they will be reliable when it counts, and that they will continue to be responsive and caring to each other, which includes “turning toward” each other’s bids for attention AND not doing things that they know will hurt the other’s feelings.

Happily married couples expect each other to work on maintaining relationship trust. However, they also accept that they will let each other down from time to time. When these regrettable incidents happen, happily married couples “turn toward” each other and work together to repair the damage.  This repair work involves fully processing the negative event and the feelings around it. As such, it lets the couple move past the incident, close their discussion about it, rebuild trust, and remain close.

Couples who “turn away” from each other after a regrettable incident don’t fare as well.  Instead of showing empathy, regret, and forgiveness, couples who turn away from each other place blame, become defensive, and hold a grudge.  As a result, the regrettable incident becomes an open sore between them and festers. This creates negative feelings that infect the couple’s reactions to other issues, and leads to flooded arguments, contempt, and “turning against”.

Sometimes the “turning away” is less obvious and involves simply avoiding any discussion of the incident.  Avoiding discussion of important negative incidents may initially seem to keep the peace, but soon the unprocessed negative feelings coalesce into either (a) surprisingly negative reactions to other unrelated issues or (b) avoidance of other issues, and eventually avoidance of the other partner, intimacy decay, and loneliness.

Both types of “turning away” lead to relationship decline, create emotional distance within the relationship, and serve to justify the conclusion by one or both people that the other is “not there for me”.   his often prompts people to begin comparing their partner to real or imagined alternatives and asking, “Would I be happier with someone else”?  

And here is where the cascade from unrepaired broken trust to outright betrayal often begins.

It’s a long path from “turning away” from your partner when regrettable incidents occur to actively “turning toward” others to have your needs met or to find what is now missing from your relationship.  Nonetheless, the tumble to real betrayal begins when couples fail to “turn toward” each other, especially in the aftermath of a regrettable incident, large or small.

Turning toward each other to meet each other’s daily attempts to connect and especially after a regrettable incident, establishes trust and allows couples to remain close.  So, then, they either never ask the question, “Would I be happier with someone else”? Or if they do, the answer is a resounding “no way”.

If you and your partner have let each other down and need to repair the trust in your relationship, summon the courage to turn toward each other and process your negative feelings with all the honesty, empathy, regret, and forgiveness required to truly put the incident behind you.  Take action to stop cheating before it starts.

Let me know if I can help.

Jamie C. Williamson, PhD is a FL Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and member of the Gottman Referral Network, with a Certificate in the Science of Wellbeing and Happiness from the Harvard School of Medicine. She is an owner and partner at Amity Mediation Workshop, a mediation practice specializing in “friendly divorce” mediation and psycho-educational couples counseling. Dr. Jamie speaks frequently on relationship topics and authors the blog “Work it Out.”  You can find her online at amitymediationworkshop.com.  

Every relationship goes through hard seasons. The couples who come out stronger are usually the ones willing to ask for help.

By Michael McManus, LCSW | Psychotherapy 30A | Santa Rosa Beach, Florida

In nearly four decades of sitting with couples in my office, I have yet to meet two people who stopped caring about each other overnight. What I do see, again and again, is two people who have been hurt, who have grown tired, and who have quietly stopped reaching for one another because they are not sure the reach will be met. That is usually what brings a couple through my door. Not hatred. Exhaustion.

People come to marriage counseling for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes there has been a betrayal of trust and they are trying to figure out whether the relationship can survive it. Sometimes the arguing has become so predictable and so painful that they have just stopped talking altogether. Sometimes life has simply gotten in the way. A new baby, a career change, aging parents, financial pressure. The intimacy fades gradually and one day they look at each other across the dinner table and realize they feel like strangers. Whatever brings a couple in, I have rarely met one that could not benefit from the work.

A lot of people are nervous about starting. They worry that therapy will become a place where old wounds get reopened, or that the therapist will take sides, or that talking about their problems will only make things worse. In my experience, the opposite tends to be true. What happens in a good couples session is that two people begin to actually hear each other, often for the first time in years. Not just the words, but what is underneath them. The hurt, the longing, the fear of being left or unloved. When that kind of understanding starts to happen, something shifts.

The practical side of the work matters too. Couples learn concrete ways to communicate that do not escalate into fights. They learn how to recognize when a conversation is starting to go sideways and how to slow it down before real damage is done. They work on rebuilding trust, on rekindling physical and emotional closeness, and on getting back on the same team when it comes to parenting, finances, and everything else that life throws at a marriage.

Research tells us that more than seventy percent of couples who commit to the process see real improvement. In my own practice, I would say that number feels about right, and I would add that the couples who do the best are almost always the ones who came in before things got truly desperate. Most people wait far too long. If something feels off in your relationship right now, that feeling is worth paying attention to. You do not have to wait until you are standing at the edge before asking for help. The door to my office is open.

To learn more, contact Psychotherapy 30A by phone at (850) 837-0123 or visit their website, psychotherapy30a.com.

Michael McManus, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice along the 30A/South Walton corridor with nearly 40 years of clinical experience. He works with individuals, couples, and offers concierge in-home therapy.

Contact Information

Michael McManus, LCSW | Psychotherapist

Psychotherapy 30A

1131 Mack Bayou Road | 76 Allen Lakeshore Drive

Santa Rosa Beach, Florida 32459

(850) 837-0123 | psychotherapy30a.com

Dr. Richard Chern, MD 

You’re taking care of all of it — work, home, children or grandchildren, spouses, parents, your boss/clients/students/patients. Mother’s Day is for the flowers, but every day you show up — lifting groceries, carrying kids, steadying loved ones — you’re asking a lot from your bones. This Women’s Health Week (May 10-16), let’s celebrate all women (the nurturers, the bosses, and everyone in between) by protecting those quiet workhorses. At The Hormone Restoration Center, we use bioidentical pellets as our method of hormone therapy — here’s how pellets can help keep your bones strong.

Why Pellets — And Why Hormones — Matter

Estrogen slows the breakdown of old bone and supports new bone formation. When estrogen drops around perimenopause and menopause, bone loss can speed up, making fractures more likely over time. Testosterone and progesterone help too, by supporting muscle and balance so you’re less likely to fall. Pellet therapy delivers bioidentical hormones under the skin in a slow, steady stream — avoiding daily highs and lows — and gives consistent support that helps preserve bone.

How Pellet Therapy Helps Bones

By keeping hormone levels steady, pellets can slow or even reverse bone loss for many women, especially when started near the time of menopause. Over time, the benefits of pellet therapy reveal themselves as improved bone density and, importantly, a lower risk of fractures. Pellets often also ease hot flashes and improve sleep and energy — benefits that help with strength and fall prevention.

What The Pellet Process Looks Like

Consultation: We review your health, family fracture history, lifestyle, and order baseline labs.

Placement: A brief in‑office procedure places small, sterile pellets under the skin. Minimal downtime and a small dressing afterward.

Steady delivery: Pellets release hormones continuously for about 3–6 months, depending on dose and metabolism. No daily dosing to remember.

Follow-up: We monitor symptoms and labs, adjust dosing as needed.

What To Expect

You won’t “feel” bones strengthening day-to-day, but many patients notice fewer menopausal symptoms, better sleep, and steadier energy within weeks.

Pellets are one tool in a practical plan: individualized HRT when appropriate, adequate calcium and vitamin D, resistance and balance exercise, fall-proofing your home, and regular bone checks.

You carry everyone else — let’s help your skeleton keep up. If bone health is on your mind, call The Hormone Restoration Center. We’ll review your history, run the right tests, and build a personalized pellet plan so you can keep lifting, hugging, and showing up for the people who matter most. Call (850) 837-1271 to schedule a consultation.