By Jamie C. Williamson, PhD

Jealousy can be toxic or healthy for married couples.

Toxic jealousy is a red flag.  But healthy jealousy can actually signal that you and your partner want to protect your bond.  For healthy jealousy, both partners share the blame for the jealous feelings, and both have a role in determining the impact of jealousy on their marriage.

Toxic Jealousy 

Toxic jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem, insecurity, and a debilitating fear of abandonment. These psychological drivers can transform a loving spouse into a “green-eyed monster” who monitors texts and emails without permission, makes accusations of lying without evidence, engages in controlling behavior, and might even stalk their partner.

People who feel jealousy this intensely are still responsible for controlling their behavior.  Acting out through anger, controlling, and spying is inappropriate, unhealthy, and damaging to the relationship. These obsessive actions lead to conflict and dissatisfaction. If unchecked, they could be considered abusive and constitute a “red flag” of concern that should be addressed professionally.

Healthy Jealousy

Healthy jealousy, by contrast, is a fleeting, manageable emotion that often acts as a protective mechanism for the relationship rather than a sign of dysfunction.

Feelings of jealousy naturally and understandably arise when a person experiences a real or perceived threat to their marital relationship.  Although jealousy is more commonly experienced by people who are insecure, even the most secure people can experience a twinge of jealousy when someone flirts with their spouse and during circumstances that involve loss of time with or attention from their spouse.  Add a bit of vulnerability to the mix, and jealousy escalates, but can still remain healthy.

Fortunately, normal, healthy jealousy can be managed through open communication, trust-building, and mutual reassurances of commitment.

Shared Blame and Joint Responsibility 

Jealousy in marriage is rarely caused by just one person, but rather a combination of one partner’s internal fears and the other partner’s actions (or lack thereof).

Why Blame the Person Who Feels Jealous:

Rooted in Insecurity: Jealousy often stems from personal insecurities, low self-esteem, or past traumatic experiences, rather than the partner’s actual behavior.

Emotional Regulation: Individuals are responsible for managing their own emotions (fear, anger, anxiety) rather than projecting them onto their spouse.

Unrealistic Expectations: Sometimes jealousy arises from unrealistic demands on a partner’s time or social life.

Why Blame the Person Who Causes It?

Inconsiderate Behavior: Actions that trigger jealousy, such as flirting, keeping secrets, or failing to prioritize the spouse, can exacerbate insecurity.

Lack of Trust/Connection: Not providing enough reassurance, emotional closeness, or honesty can foster an environment where jealousy thrives.

Ignoring Boundaries: Continuing behaviors that a partner says makes them uncomfortable shows disrespect and erodes marital trust.

Responsibility of the Jealous Person

While feelings themselves aren’t “wrong,” the individual experiencing them is responsible for managing their internal reactions and behaviors.

Root Causes:  Identify and use approaches that will reduce personal insecurities and increase self-esteem.

Accountability: Be responsible for owning your emotions and communicating them using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel insecure when…”) rather than making accusations.

Behavioral Control:  Practice self-control. Feeling jealous is natural but does not excuse expressing those feelings through antisocial behaviors like controlling or spying.

Responsibility of the Person “Causing” Jealousy

People are not responsible for their spouse’s internal feelings, but they are responsible for their own actions and how those actions affect the relationship’s security.

Avoid Fuzzy Boundaries:  Help create a secure environment. Don’t display secretive behavior, break commitments, or maintain inappropriate closeness with others.

Provide Reassurance: In a healthy marriage, partners act as allies. So, readily offer reassurance and adjust behaviors that may be legitimate jealousy triggers for a spouse.

Be Transparent:  Being open about schedules or interactions builds trust and can help rebuild trust if there has been a past breach.

Bottom Line:  Fix the Problem, not the Blame 

If you and your partner need to navigate healthy jealousy issues, start by acting like cooperative allies.  Avoid the blame game. Concentrate on open communication, setting clear boundaries, and strengthening trust. Jealous partners should examine their insecurities and learn to express their feelings constructively.  At the same time, the triggering partners should be mindful of their spouse’s vulnerabilities and intentionally avoid actions that will activate their spouse’s insecurities and jealousy. Together, you can tame the green-eyed monster.

Let me know if I can help. 

Jamie C. Williamson, PhD is a FL Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and member of the Gottman Referral Network, with a Certificate in the Science of Wellbeing and Happiness from the Harvard School of Medicine. She is an owner and partner at Amity Mediation Workshop, a mediation practice specializing in “friendly divorce” mediation and psycho-educational couples counseling. Dr. Jamie speaks frequently on relationship topics like jealousy and authors the blog “Work it Out”.  You can find her online at amitymediationworkshop.com.  

By Michael McManus LCSW, Psychotherapist

For many people, starting therapy can feel like stepping into unfamiliar territory. What does a therapist actually do? What happens in a session? And how does talking to a professional lead to lasting change?

At its core, psychotherapy—also called counseling or talk therapy—is a process that helps people explore their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a safe, private, and supportive environment. Therapists are trained to help clients gain insight into their patterns, manage anxiety or depression, recover from trauma, improve relationships, and cultivate personal growth.

The First Session

The first meeting is often about building comfort and gathering background information. Your therapist may ask what brings you in, what’s been troubling you, and what goals you’d like to reach. It’s also a time for you to ask questions—about the therapist’s style, confidentiality, or what therapy might look like. Many clients feel relief simply from being heard without judgment.

What Therapists Actually Do

Good therapists don’t just listen; they guide conversations in ways that promote awareness and change. They may highlight recurring themes, reflect emotions, or help connect past experiences with current challenges. Depending on their approach, a therapist might use specific techniques like:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Challenging unhelpful thinking patterns and replacing them with realistic, balanced thoughts.
• Psychodynamic therapy: Exploring how early experiences shape present behavior and relationships.
• Humanistic or person-centered therapy: Emphasizing self-acceptance and aligning behavior with one’s true values.
• Mindfulness-based therapy: Developing awareness and presence to reduce reactivity and stress.

Most therapists blend several methods to fit each client’s needs rather than adhering rigidly to one model.

Common Themes in Therapy

People come to therapy for countless reasons—relationship conflicts, grief, anxiety, stress, or a search for meaning. Over time, certain themes often surface: setting boundaries, improving self-esteem, healing wounds from the past, identifying personal values, or reclaiming a sense of agency in life.

The Path Toward Growth and Healing

Therapists help clients grow by doing more than offering advice—they create conditions where insight, self-compassion, and change can occur naturally. They model empathy, curiosity, and acceptance, helping clients internalize these attitudes toward themselves. Progress often unfolds gradually as clients learn to tolerate difficult feelings, challenge limiting beliefs, and practice new ways of thinking and relating.

Beyond Symptom Relief

The ultimate goal of therapy isn’t only to reduce distress but to foster self-actualization—the process of becoming one’s fullest, most authentic self. Clients begin to see their challenges not just as problems to fix, but as opportunities for growth. A successful therapeutic relationship helps people rediscover their own resilience, wisdom, and capacity for joy.

In the end, therapy is less about being told what to do and more about learning how to listen deeply—to one’s own mind, body, and spirit—and using that understanding to live with greater freedom and purpose.

Michael McManus LCSW is a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Rosa Beach. He can be reached by text or phone at 1-850-837-0123 or visit psychotherapy30A.com

By Dr. Richard Chern, MD 

We don’t notice it happening at first. Winter rarely announces itself all at once—it settles in quietly. Shorter days. Colder mornings. Longer evenings spent on the couch. Same house, same routine, but something feels different. There’s less energy, less motivation, less desire to care.

Where we once enjoyed moving our bodies, getting outside, and feeling strong and capable, now the alarm rings and staying in bed feels easier. Joints ache. Muscles feel weaker. Even simple routines—exercise, cooking well, making time for ourselves—feel like work instead of something life-giving. It’s easy to dismiss it as stress, age, or just “the time of year.”

As spring approaches, the light begins to change. A familiar spark returns—the desire to feel better, to take care of ourselves again, to re-engage with life. But the energy we expect doesn’t necessarily follow the season. Motivation fades as quickly as it appeared, leaving frustration and the quiet question: Why don’t I feel like I should?

At The Hormone Restoration Center, we hear this story every year.

Winter blues aren’t just about the weather. They’re also about hormones. As daylight decreases, hormonal signaling in the body shifts. Testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, thyroid hormones, cortisol—and even Vitamin D—all influence how we feel, how we move, how we sleep, and how we recover. What many people don’t realize is Vitamin D isn’t just a vitamin; it functions as a hormone, affecting mood, immune health, muscle strength, and bone density. During the winter months, when sunlight exposure drops, Vitamin D levels often fall right along with energy and motivation.

When hormones decline or fall out of balance, energy drops, mood flattens, sleep suffers, and winter feels longer and heavier than it should.

Hormones also do far more than influence mood or libido. They are foundational to the body itself. Testosterone and estrogen are essential for maintaining muscle mass in both men and women. When levels are low, the body loses lean muscle—even with consistent exercise. As muscle declines, metabolism slows, joints lose support, and fatigue becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Hormones play a critical role in bone health as well. Estrogen, testosterone, and Vitamin D work together to protect bone density. When any of them are deficient, bone loss accelerates, increasing the risk of osteoporosis and fractures in both men and women. This loss happens quietly, often for years, before it ever makes itself known.

This is why so many people feel tired, frustrated, and fragile. Why workouts stop working. Why motivation disappears. Why winter feels like survival instead of rest—and why spring can feel like a letdown.

Hormone optimization helps.

When hormones are restored to healthy levels the body responds. Energy improves. Muscle becomes easier to build and maintain. Bones are protected. Sleep deepens. Mood stabilizes. That natural desire to care for yourself returns.

Hormone Replacement Therapy isn’t about pushing the body beyond normal. It’s about restoring what time, stress, and life have gradually taken away.

At The Hormone Restoration Center, we take a comprehensive, personalized approach. You’re not broken, and you’re not alone. You don’t have to wait for another season to feel like yourself again. Just call us: (850) 837-1271. It might just change your life.

By Bridget Sullivan, PA-C, Coastal Skin Surgery & Dermatology 

There are many different types of chemical peels and many benefits from this cosmetic treatment. Chemical peels, also known as chemexfoliation, trigger the repair and regeneration process in the epidermis and the dermis, resulting in the remodeling of the skin’s surface. Chemical peels differ in how deeply they penetrate the different layers of skin. The different types of peels are superficial, medium-depth and deep peels. Chemical peels can help with conditions like acne and acne scarring, melasma, hyperpigmentation, sun damage, fine lines and wrinkles, uneven skin tone, and dull skin.

Depending on the type of chemical peel you choose depends on the goal you are trying to achieve, your skin type, and your desired recovery time. The many benefits of chemical peels can include: evening out skin tone, helping with fine lines and wrinkles, decreasing pore size, improving skin texture, stimulating collagen production, brightening dull skin, decreasing sebum or oil production, decreasing sun damage, helping improve skin products to absorb more effectively, and reducing acne and acne scarring.

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This treatment is typically preferred to be done in the colder months because during the recovery process, which is about a week, you want to avoid direct sunlight and have minimal sun exposure. The recovery process will vary greatly depending on the type of chemical peel you choose, but for a typical medium-depth peel, you will experience skin shedding for 4-7 days. A post-care packet and instructions will be provided after your procedure to ensure understanding and optimal results. Not everyone is a candidate for a chemical peel, so make sure to have a consultation with your medical provider to ensure the best fit for your skin type and desired results. Healthy skin leads to beautiful skin, and we all deserve to love the skin we are in!