Reviewed by Michael McManus, MSW LCSW
“Not Nice” by Dr. Aziz Gazipura is a thought-provoking exploration of the complexities surrounding kindness and assertiveness. Dr. Gazipura, a clinical psychologist, addresses a common struggle—how to be true to oneself while navigating the expectations of others. The book dives deep into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing and the societal pressures to always be “nice.” I have been referring this book to quite a bit to clients who tend to people, please, and lose themselves in the process and then end up being resentful.
What sets “Not Nice” apart is its practical framework. Dr. Gazipura combines personal stories with psychological insights, making the content relatable and engaging. Each chapter includes actionable exercises that encourage readers to reflect on their own behaviors and beliefs. This hands-on approach is a standout feature, empowering readers to actively work on their personal growth.
The writing is conversational and approachable, which helps demystify the often intimidating topics of assertiveness and self-worth. Dr. Gazipura emphasizes that being assertive doesn’t mean being unkind; rather, it’s about honoring one’s own needs and boundaries. This message resonates strongly and offers a refreshing perspective on self-advocacy.
The overall impact of the book is profound, as it encourages introspection and challenges long-held beliefs about niceness.
In conclusion, “Not Nice” is a compelling read for anyone grappling with the balance between kindness and self-assertion. Dr. Gazipura provides a roadmap for embracing authenticity and building healthier relationships, making it a valuable addition to the self-help genre.
Michael McManus, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Rosa Beach. He and his wife, Angela, also a psychotherapist, have raised four children and enjoy swimming, biking, hiking, yoga, reading, and cooking. If this topic intrigues you and you’re interested in working on this topic, Michael can be reached by text or phone at (850) 837-0123 or at his website: psychotherapy30A.com
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