By Jack Smith
This summer I finally met a unicorn. No, not a horse with a horn on its forehead but an actual baby boomer in the body of a millennial. This unicorn has never said “for real” or “that’s what I’m talking about,” and I don’t think she’s ever called me “dude.” Meet Mary Denman, a 21-year-old point guard from Pell, Alabama, who her mother, my wife, and I think of as a daughter. I guess I need to credit her parents, but I’ve seen many a kid go bad with great parents, including my own family. No, this is the real deal unicorn, who is rumored to have said “yes, sir” to a complete stranger. She is a three-point specialist from the University of Mobile, but her favorite school is Auburn and her favorite player is Bo Nix – correction, “Bo Picks.”
While walking down the beach with Mary D one day, she grabbed my arm and said, “Jack, don’t look!” After looking over at what I was not supposed to see, I had to ask, “What’s up?” She told me in a hushed voice, “That’s Bo Nix.” I suggested we walk over and meet this superstar. I don’t think she answered but she did run back down the beach in NCAA record time. Eventually, she returned with her girlfriends for photos, and a beach football game ensued. She intercepted Bo twice.
Her mother has a house in PCB where she stayed for the summer, but instead of acting like a spring breaker, she actually had a full-time job at Ace Hardware’s garden department. After a particularly hot day at work she showed up looking pretty flushed. When I asked her what was wrong, she replied, “They made me clean dirt off of bags of dirt.” Welcome to the world, baby girl.
